Monday, June 2, 2014

My recap of Game Of Thrones "The Mountain and The Viper"

Okay so SPOILER ALERT, massive huge throbbing spoiler!

Turn back now, lest ye be spoilt.

Abandon hope all ye who enter here...

Pretty much sums it up for GoT in general anymore doesn't it?

Let's start out for the easier parts, shall we?

Arya and The Hound. 
As squicky as this relationship can sometimes get for me, the almost affection The Hound gives Arya is a mite disturbing for me, and don't get me started on the fanship of them falling in love. *GAG*
But for just a few moments we see Arya going to the one place she MIGHT be safe with family, and her sister is there thank you LORD something good might happen.  But of course they're stopped at the gate and informed Lyssa is dead.  To which, and I have to give Maise much props to the way she just dissolves in hysterical laughter.  What more CAN you do?! You get to the place where your mom and brother are, you're going to be reunited... BUT nope, they're being killed as you sit outside the gate. ... You get to your Aunt's place, finally... You missed her death by three days.  What more can you do but laugh at the sheer ridiculousness that fate has dealt you?
I truly hope that Sansa hasn't left the Eyrie yet. and we might get to see some sister love (OUT OF THE GUTTER!) from these two considering the terms they were separated on.

Sansa and Littlefinger
Speaking of the eldest sister Stark. *slow clap* Well played, Sansa.  The testimony to that little counsel was both heart breaking and squicky to watch.  It was awesome seeing her coming into her own, 'cause seriously, about god damned time...
Tyrion once said in season two I believe it was that Sansa may grow to be the strongest of them all.  -- something to that extent, I looked for it, can't find it.  If someone has the quote somewhere I'd be grateful.
My heart broke for a number of reasons.  Obviously because Sansa has been through so much, and she's just getting started, but another because I'm scared she may have learned something from Cersei after all.
"The best lies are part truth."
I believe that was the quote when the Queen was educating dear Sansa.
And the squick.  That knowing look she gave Petyr and then afterward "I know what you want" Ohhhhh dear God is she going to give it to that fucktard? NO NO NO. 
My hope for her is she learns to be devious when is needed, gets what she needs from Littlefinger before giving up the goods, dangling them in front of him like a little reward for doing a good job, and then slitting his throat in his bed when he least expects it.

Castle Black
I have decided I REALLY hate that bastard that heads the meetings.  Seriously, just because blocking the tunnel has never been done before, YOU are there to protect Westeros from the things beyond the wall.  INCLUDING the hundred-thousand wildlings that's marching on your fucking wall.  Close down the damned tunnel, you can open it back up again. Jon seems to be the only one on the wall who has more than two brain cells and can think beyond the tip of their own nose. The Castle Black storyline is grating on my nerves more than anything and I truly want Jon to go beyond the wall, find Bran and stay with him.  That's what I want, I'm tired of the Night's Watch.  Let them all die like the pussies they are.

Ohhhhh how I love her.  I love love love Daenerys. So this one combines episode 7 and 8, simply because I was actually proud of her telling Daario  "take off your clothes".  GET IT GIRL! Seriously, about time that queen saw some fucking action. --- literally. 
I was a bit heartbroken at how she didn't give Jorah a second chance, knowing all that he's done FOR her since the poisoning attempt.  Yes, honey he knew it was poison, he didn't want you DEAD.  He fell in love with you, can't you see that?  UGH. I throw my hands up in frustration. I saw book spoilers while looking up stuff for Daenerys, so I knew it was going to happen.  I want that girl to get her footing and head to Westeros.  I'm ready to see Dragons ripping apart Tywin Lannister.  YES PLEASE! I'll pay to see that shit. While in the books I believe she hasn't gotten there yet, I'm hoping someday she will and we'll see some really awesome shit there.
I"m liking the side-line romance with the handmaiden and Grey Worm.  Did they take the pillar and stones indeed.... Obviously there's still something there, he's attracted to her. --but as we all know, you don't need a dick to make a woman feel really good!

Okay.... now for squicky again...
The Lannisters
Dear sweet Lord and Lady what a tangled web they weave.  There is so many twists and turns to the Lannisters I don't know if i'm looking up or down, right or left.
Last night though, we got some GREAT monologue from Peter Dinklage, about the cousin and the beetles.  great acting there with that. I was actually waiting for the punchline on why the cousin was killing them like that.  Now I see it was strictly a metaphor and a foreshadowing of someone bigger and stronger crushing someone smaller and 'weaker'
And then FINALLY we get to the good shit.  I knew it was going to be a stomach twister.  They start with 8 or 9 minutes left in the episode, I just had this feeling that it was going to cut off with a "OH MY FUCKING GOD" moment. GoT didn't disappoint.
Starting out right off the bat, Oberyn needs to show boat.  I was waiting for the dick move blow to the back to just end it quickly since dumbass didn't wear armor.  But no, didn't happen. Gregor got a few good blows, the choreography was beautifully done. and then suddenly BAM Oberyn stabs Gregor in the stomach.
YES YES YES! - I start doing the Daniel Bryant chant.
Kill him, Kill him!...
"Oh no, not so quickly, you can't die yet..."
wait... what are you doing?
"I want a confession. I want you to say it before I kill you. You raped my sister, you murdered her and killed her children." 
Wait.... You're monologueing in combat? WTF is wrong with you? You don't stop when your enemy is teetering on the brink of death with one good blow to the damn FACE KILL HIMM!
STOP IT! Just kill him.... what are you.... Oh GOd really you're going to demand that?! Don't... Aww. shit.
Gregor SLAMS his hand into Oberyn's face like the damned HULK and pow all his teeth land on the ground, Oberyn goes down, Tyrion, Jamie, and Oberyn's wife look horror struck - with good reason.
Gregor now has the upperhand, and mounts  Oberyn, placing his hands on either side of the prince's head....

No... No God no, don't do it... don't freaking do it...!

While pressing his thumbs into Oberyn's eye sockets, that ALONE made my stomach turn and I'm squealing in disgust.... Gregor confesses...
"I killed her children, I raped her, and I squished her head... like this!" 
NOOOOOO no no Oh my God... I scream, I scream right along with Oberyn's wife.  And then .... then the stomach twisting visual.  *Gag* .... *gag some more* .... *stomach actually lurches* ... I scream again....

And then the realization, OH shit.... Tyrion's champion just bit it. That means the imp's time is up.

Mother. Fuck.

BUT.... how will Cersei truly react when she realizes that the one person that could have communicated her love for her daughter, who is warded at Dorne now has his grey matter sprayed all over the ground? The ONLY person who knew the message Cersei wanted to deliver? Could prove interesting. I just hope the writers didn't forget about that....

Going to try to make a habit of this, recapping my favorite shows the day after they air. :)

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