Saturday, July 18, 2015

Total Divas; She Said, She Said

Sho. My thoughts on the most recent Total Divas -- at the end there'll be my reasoning as to why it's taken me so long.

With Wrestlemania getting closer, the Eva drama heated UP. Trinity is taking Eva's side, telling the girls none of the blow up was necessary. ....

Uhm.... WHAT?! 

Let's see here Trinity, You're a WWE Diva as well. You want a shot at that title too. You don't get to be home either, you've had to make sacrifices, you've paid your dues too, WHY THE FUCK are you standing up for her? 

Brie's storyline nearly had me sobbing like a baby. She tells Nikki she's two weeks late for her period, and thinks she's pregnant. But yet back at home... she realizes that she's started, and omg my heart broke. 

She really wants to be a mom and it's so heart breaking to see her cry because she isn't. So Nikki and the Bella's mom tell Brie to just go get tested. And if that isn't the funniest scene EVER.... Brie's gotta go up into the stirrups we ladies know as the torture chamber, but Daniel... He's gotta get it up and jizz in a cup. 

I would be the one sliding of out his chair... bwahahaha

See?! Brie finds it just as hilarious as I do!!!! He manages to do the deed even with the cameras right outside the door.... *snigger* Then later on I'm guessing before Smackdown before Wrestlemania, Stephanie McMahon comes up to them and explains that in the Hall of Fame, they're doing a new award. 

The Warrior Award, and they're inducting Connor Michalek a young boy who had a brain tumor and wanted nothing more than to meet Daniel Bryan. They honored that wish, brought him in, and I watched the video of him meeting all the stars, punching Triple H and pinning him, and hugging Daniel. This kid was awesome, and my heart broke when I watched the Hall of Fame and heard that he'd passed. Stephanie said that she wanted Daniel to be the one to induct little Connor

That little one truly deserved that honor. Break my heart WWE... go on. 

I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to cry...

But Paige's storyline through the episode was great. 

She hung out with Alicia Fox, and from last season, that's always a fun time! Those two are so hilarious together. Foxy picks her up and they head off to find Paige a dress to wear to the hall of fame. And Paige gets to learn that it was Trinity that told Eva about their discussion of her private training.... 

Girl I agree!! 

Foxy gets a stylist into the hotel room and Paige starts trying on dresses. The red one, omg, horrible. REALLY bad, I mean REALLY bad. Foxy said she looked good, but no honey, the black one looked the best. THEN... Foxy decides to bring in a spray tanner, and gets Paige to agree to do it, I was dying laughing at that scene. 

Is that Renee Young? 

They all go out to eat, Foxy, Paige, her lover boy, another of the divas and her date, then Trinity and Jon Uso join up. Trinity starts in on how them all coming at Eva was uncalled for... I think Foxy's expression says it all. 

And I REALLY can't wait to see Foxy throw that drink in Trinity's face as was in the preview. Bitch is deserving it. 

Finally the best moment of the episode was when Foxy and Paige are out shopping still for a dress for Paige, and Foxy goes into a shoe store boring the hell out of Paige so our pale goddess goes out onto the sidewalk for some fresh air when she comes across a fan of hers who is in tears. 

"Are you okay?" she asks. 

"I love you so much!" the fan says. "Because of you... I was able to overcome my eating disorder." 

Oh.... My.... GAWD.... 

And Paige is so taken back that she doesn't even know what to say. Lots of hugs are exchanged, and omg, they slay me. 

Not a lot happened in this episode, but I covered the highlights :) 

Now.... onto the reason why I've been absent. 

For a long time my grandpa has battled Lung cancer. He had surgery, and we thought he'd gotten past it. though about this time last year it came back with a vengeance. He restarted chemo, but the option for surgery was out. I believe he refused it. This man was like a dad to me. I remember back when my cousin got married, I pulled him out onto the dance floor to dance with him, and confessed that I was worried that I would never get another shot at love. That what I had was going to be it, and I would never get the father daughter dance with him. 

His words to me. "Yes you will, honey. You will because you're loveable, and anyone that can't see that in you and your kids are a waste of your time. We will get that father daughter dance." 

Seconds later, this picture was snapped of us: 

At that moment, I was trying so hard not to cry. Seeing that picture now, I still have to try so very hard not to cry. It brings up so many emotions, emotions that I had back then, ones I have now... 

July 11, somewhere between 5:00am and 7:00am he took his final labored breath. 

I was able to see him about 8 hours before and oh my... he had gotten so bad, so weak. I knew it in my heart that he was leaving this world. 

He meant so much to me, I'm not certain he ever truly understood how much he meant. I might not have been there enough the past year... it's because I was scared. I didn't want to admit that the man that was supposed to be immortal was very and truly mortal. I regret not being there more, and showing him how much I loved him, but it was how I coped, and I think he knew that. I hope he understood. It hurt my heart to see him deteriorating, and my grandmother, oh my all the Gods in the heavens, how amazingly strong she is! I cannot imagine the toll the last year has taken on her heart. 

That grief has settled like a very tangible weight on my heart, and I'm fighting to find acceptance in it. To know deep in my soul that he's okay now, he's not hurting anymore, and that's okay. That he passed, and it's okay. It's okay because he's not in pain. He's not struggling for breath. 

But I did get to tell him how much I love him. I got to hear him say that he loved me too. 

But I miss him. I miss him so much that it hurts. 

He was my buddy, my Gramps, my Paw Paw, 

My very first steps were taken to him. and see how proud he was of me? That tells me he was proud. 

See a pattern? Always by his side. This man meant so much to me, and still does mean so much to me. And for him to not be here anymore. I can't call him and say "Grandpa, I need your help.", I can't watch my girls form a deeper bond with him like I had... It's... indescribable. I can't even put into words how much that hurts. 

I love him so much, he will always be with me, even if it's not in a corporeal way. 

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