We start off tonight's episode FINALLY seeing Eric!
But unfortunately... it's a dream Jason's having about him. Creepy ass "I've had your blood now I have vivid sex dreams about you"
And I'm sitting here going NOO Not Jason... Not Jason damn it. And of course they've got the sweet violins playing in the background, and as Eric descends to his knees in front of Jason....
Jason's sitting in the church asleep and falls over in the pew. With an erection... *snort*
After opening credits, Andy's trying to figure out a way to narrow the search for the vamps, and Sookie pipes up with the news that they've got a dead girl in the forest and if they identify her they could find out where they're going next.
Reverend Daniels tells Sam that the town is looking for something to keep their minds off of it, and Sam tells the town that when they get Arlene back she'll be pissed at the state of BEllfluer's.... yeah not merlotte's anymore... keep forgetting that. WEird end to season 6...
Lettie Mae then tells good old Reverend Daniels that she wants to check on Lafayette because he didn't show up at church that morning.
Andy tells Addalyn that she can stay with their family but needs to be home and don't invite Jessica in. Apparently she didn't tell daddy.
The H-vamps are pull another one of the prisoners upstairs, but once again they don't touch any of the women from Bon Temps. Nikki starts cramping.
The old lady vamp apparently is Arlene and Holly's kid's teacher. Arlene has got her gumption back and tells everyone that she didn't survive 4 shitty exhusbands, a serial killer ex boyfriend and a sometimes ehhhhhhhh love of her life to die in the basement of a vampire bar.
At the body in the woods, they obviously don't get anyone answering the sherrif's phone in her home town and now a road trip is in order.
Lettie Mae stops in on Lafayette to see how he's doing. I love Lafayette's shirt. purple zodiac. Lettie of course believes her hallucination on the vamp blood was true. She's convinced the Tara is stuck between earth and dead. Lafayette calls Lettie Mae a triflin' bitch for thinking the way she is. She tells him he's going to hell and he simply hold out his hands saying "What do you think this is?"
There are dead bodies in Bellefluer's freezer. And then Sam's mayoral competition is turning the town against Sam. they than start braking the tables and chairs to construct stakes to fight off the vamps.
Back at Fangtastia Arlene tries to plead with the teacher to get them out of there. She gets the teacher to break down, but she backs off when Arlene shows her a little too much compassion. Arlene's pleas for help surprisingly doesn't fall on deaf ears, and she tells the women she'll figure something out to help them get out of there.
IN Saint Alice everything's boarded up, on one it says "Thanks Obama" *Snort* It's a ghost town, no cars anywhere, every window and door with boards on them. Even on the street itself say "FEMA help us" and SOS on a roof. Of course Sookie stumbles upon a mass grave
Addalyn alerts Kenya about the mob coming to get the guns from the police station. that chick that went out vampire hunting twists shit in Kenya's head into arresting Addalyn. She blasts Kenya with a bit of light, then the mob is on her she panics alerting Jessica who gave Addalyn her blood. And they're wasting all the bullets on target practice
Back in St Alice, they go to the dead girl's home and find out that the vamps were there two and a half days before they got there. Figuring they clear out the town before moving on to the next. Andy tells Jason that hes going to marry Holly when he gets her back, "A man ain't nothin' if he doesn't have a family."
Sookie finds a girl's journal describing pretty much her exact same experience with Bill. and of course there's a flashback to season one. when we all actually liked Bill. Sam goes into the baby's room and finds "Lamby" from Doc Mcstuffins in the baby's crib.
Whiel cooking Lettie Mae burns her hand. and gets the idea to put her hand down in the pan to have an excuse to drink vampire blood again. She goes down and wakes up Willa who throws her across the room, serves her right... and then LEttie Mae begs Willa for more of her blood, and of course WIlla relents.... STUPID woman. Lafayette was right, she is a drug addict.
Of COURSE Lettie starts hallucinating again. and she sees Tara strung up on a cross with a snake around her. Tara is speaking in tongues to her trippin out like crazy.
Alcide tries telling Sookie that she's not to blame for anything that's happened and of course, she appreciates it but she's still blaming herself...... he tries talking her into not going back, but of course she won't hear of it.
Back at Fangtasia the teacher sets her plan in motion but dies sucking on Arlene's femoral artery.... ewwww
Andy gets to discover Jessica and she tells him Addalyn is gone, she doesn't know where, but knows she's in trouble.
Sookie tells Alcide to get in the shower, in which she runs back over to Bills.... dumb bitch. Asking him if he can still sense if she gets into deep shit.
Pam is in France now, and FINALLY REAL ERIC!!! But those bastards gave him Hep- D
Looking to next week someone dies, and it looks like Sam. dude fires a gun, then says "Looks like I"m the mayor now." Show BIll driving and offering his arm to sookie after Alcide kicks Bill's door down. Looks like Sookie's going to end up with Bill at the end, of course, because Anna and Stephen are married...