Thursday, January 7, 2016

Reflecting can be either good for one's soul... or dangerous.

And I'm not certain which it is tonight. Been thinking back over the relationships I've had, and the people I've been involved with. Wondering... Why didn't I see this or That should have been so obvious!

But it's not always there, is it? We see what we want to see, and can tend to ignore the warning signs.

There have been four people I've been closely involved with, connected with them on multiple levels, One I was able to let go of, because the connection I thought was there was merely superficial. The other three, however... one I'm engaged to - so that ought to tell you something. He and I connected right away, he was my "zing" to quote Hotel Transylvania. I knew immediately that I could trust him, and it wasn't just WANTING to trust him. I did. Right down to my soul. While when we first met, I wasn't looking for anyone or anything other than a good time and stress relief, and neither was he... I fell deeper in love with him than any other person. His soul spoke to mine. We're both old souls. Though he is much older than I am, by far... -- soul I mean, not physical age -- But I'll get to that in a few minutes.

The one before the fiance... "D"... We clashed a lot when we first met. I've spoken of him previously in my blog, very near the beginning. There's still that connection, that tie binding me to him. It's become more distant lately, but I can still tell when he thinks of me. It's a call that is undeniable. We were best friends, and connected from 450 miles away. There was something there, and so when I left my ex-husband, I turned to him. the first intimate contact with him is what began the soul connection between us. There was something undeniably primal about our connection. Raw and uninhibited, yet... there was emotion there as well, deep unrelenting emotion. It's why I say that he broke my heart, and stole pieces of it from me. The pieces he took from me have been fixed, but they'll never be the same again.

Before even that, there was an emotional connection with someone I'll call "J". J was kind and honest, easy to talk to... so easy to talk to, no matter what, I knew I could turn to him. I went on drives him him at night, aimlessly around the downtown area, and we'd park and just... be. Sometimes we'd talk until 3 am... other times we'd just sit in silence with each other. He knew my Ex was no good, though he never said anything about it. I felt a connection with him like a magnet. Our souls did connect, and he is back in my life after a decade of being apart. He's just as I remember him, easy going, readily provides a laugh or a smile. He sees me. Not the me that's flesh and bone, but I swear he sees into my soul. Where the fiance feels my soul, and warms it with his light and energy, J can see it. Even if he doesn't realize it. He's a good friend even now.

Each of these four men are different. Took different approaches to getting close to me, loved me in different ways -- I suspect only on J's part --

The more I thought about the four of them, however, the more I actually started paying attention.

I am a firm believer in astrology. Compatibility between signs. Ex - Aquarius, Fiance - Aries, D - Libra, and J - Scorpio.

Me? I'm a Pisces. Through and through, the fishes were meant for me.

A few articles regarding the Pisces -

Find it funny though, all of those say that Scorpio is the best match for me.

So... Why don't I start there, hmm? Oldest connection to the newest. -- and no I'm not doing anything with the Ex.

So... this is what multiple sites have to say about J's zodiac. (Also, a tidbit, it's my Tiger's zodiac sign as well.)  I love how this article uses the word "magnetically" .... That's how I described our connection. And being intuitive... how he sees my soul. MM-hmm...  The only zodiac to get its own guide!   I LOVE this, the tidbits. I wish the site had one for Pisces. I believe that all of these fit J to a T.

Onto D's zodiac. Libra.  -- Not all of this fits him, but the self centered and lazy aspect?? yeahhhh.... All him, me me me me me... need to talk about you? I'll give you five minutes. Flatter him, and "worship" him, and ohh yes, wrapped around your finger. Codependent? OHHHH YEAH.  A Majority of these fit D. Especially the romantic, and stamina part..... *wipes brow*

Now... onto probably one of the most oddest Aries I've ever met! The Fiance. This really describes him. An Alpha personality through and through. EXCEPT for the temperament. He's very level headed. -- just that beginning... yup, sounds like the fiance! LOL  Not all of these are applicable to him... I don't understand why it says that Aries is least compatible with Pisces... perhaps the overbearing nature Aries normally have? But Pisces are nurturers who'll appeal to Aries' ego.

Going off of the compatibility thing - I found another site that breaks down both sides of a hypothetical relationship, I love these, and I believe I've read them before.

Scorpio and Pisces

Libra and Pisces

Aries and Pisces

It's weird to look back on the intimacies I've had with the three I focused on for the sake of the blog. The what ifs.... But also, seeing the break downs of personalities and knowing my own, a lot fits. It makes sense why D didn't work out. As for J and I... Timing was all wrong. Very very wrong. For the fiance and I.... There are times where you just.... KNOW. That was it with him.

I do take these types of things into account when I'm writing as well. I know the character's birthdays, and I do look up astrology signs to see if the birthday I picked for them matches their personality or not.

Like a Pisces -- focused on the dream world. Fascinated with the unknown, the uncommon, the mystical and magikal.

I did a lot of writing last night, put down 5k in my WIP, and I'm proud to say that I finished my first D/s sex scene. it took a little bit to listen to them to figure out what they both wanted from it and how they would react, but once I listened.... HOO BOY it FLOWED, and it's sexy and sweet, and kindle melting.

Writing up that scene actually it what started my reflecting, because I'd started it a while ago, just a premise of a woman with two little girls losing her husband, and finding new love in her best friend. It was a story I wanted to explore, but as I thought more and more on it, the Dom/sub story came to me. I did a lot of research and talking to those in the lifestyle, and the Dom teaching her to trust by using BDSM techniques... yup.

The story will be part of an anthology which is SOOO much fun for me! I get to work with some great authors, and I'm really excited.

So... perhaps reflecting isn't always dangerous... but if you dwell too much on the past and those "what ifs" it can tend to hurt emotionally far too much. .... *snort* spoken like a true Pisces, right? LOL!!

Want me to look up your signs, and compatibility? Leave me a comment and I'll get you the links laid out like I did here :)  

Absolutely beautiful!! 

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